A) I'm too old for this shit
B) Where, working in California, will I need an in-depth knowledge
of Greek wines?
C) Am I doing this for myself or others?
SF Gate article "The Ultimate Test" |
I'm asked often at work "are you a sommelier?" This
question irks me because it's like if I walked up to a bartender and said,
"are you a bartender?" If he/she is serving drinks behind a bar, that's
kinda the definition of the job. There are different levels of experience and
expertise to any profession sure, but, by the book, a sommelier buys, stores, sells
and serves wine in a restaurant. Which is what I do, and have been doing for the
last few years.
Of course the Court of Master Sommeliers have done a good
job of claiming the term "sommelier" for themselves. This is a group
that gives actual credentials for somms, ones that look shiny on a
business card or résumé. As much as these are nice to have, anyone who has
worked in the business for a whack of time knows that book learning is no substitution
for hands-on knowledge. This is acknowledged by the Court of Master Sommeliers, I suppose,
in the fact that you can't even apply for the advanced exam without five years
in the wine/service industry.
The holy grail of the sommelier study path is to get your
MS, or Master Sommelier. Supposedly if you achieve this, kittens will start
flying out of your backside, and you will suddenly start speaking perfect
French. Or that's what I've heard.
To me, my job is work:
negotiating, dealing with sales people, unpacking bottle after bottle, and
trying to read customers' minds. It seems so far removed from the hallowed grounds
of the James Suckling-style "wine experts" out there, that as far as
I'm concerned, the Court of Master Sommeliers can keep the term sommelier. I'm happy
being just a wine buyer
Soo, how did I get sucked into this test nonsense then? A
year ago I figured I'd shut people up by getting some sort of credential, and
looked into the Wine and Spirits Education Trust. Their top credential, the MW,
or Master of Wine, is equally respected and as famously difficult to achieve; There
are 280 Masters of Wine as of 2010, and 186 Master Sommeliers as of 2011,
according to the great Oz (Wikipedia). The main difference between the two
credentials is that the MS is more service based, and the MW is more trade and
business orientated.
Because I like being different and I don't particularly
enjoy the thought of farting kittens, I decided to go the MW route. The first
place for me to jump in was taking the WSET level three certificate. This
certificate is a prerequisite to taking a two-year "wine diploma"
course (that costs 4,000 bucks or so); the diploma is considered the best
way to possibly be granted entry into
the MW program (which costs more than $10,000 to complete).
Oh and the WSET Level 3 is available as a home study course,
unlike the first sommelier level, which makes you sit through a two-day all-day-long
lecture on beginning wine stuff. Blech.
No one seems to have a clue why I'd want to take the WSET
Level 3 vs. Sommelier 1. I've had some fun conversations like this:
I'm talking to regular
about how I've had to drink more wine instead of beer lately in preparation for my
test. A slightly tipsy wine rep at the bar interrupts:
"So you're going to be a sommelier?"
"Well, not exactly, this test is a little different.
It's more relevant to what I want to do."
"Yeah and what's that?"
"It's a bit more industry side of things which I like.
I don't think I'll be taking the sommelier test."
"But you should totally be a sommelier. You are so
talented!"
I had to walk away at this point before I felt compelled to knock
my head into the wall next to the bar. I know that this conversation will
repeat itself a hundred times, so I might as well get used to it.
Thank you Samantha Sans Dosage, for bringing to my
attention douche biscuit extraordinaire, Brad Newman and his Reviewer Card
sham. I mustered up the energy this weekend to do a story about this on Wino on a Ramble,
if anyone is curious.